who the fuck names their kid pepper
someone who wants to add spice to their life
"Date someone who meets you half way. Date someone who brings you a glass a water when they get themselves one. Date someone who makes sure you don’t spend money on ridiculous things. Date someone your ex hates and your mom loves. Date someone who’d rather spend a Friday night watching movies, than out with 50 people they barley even talk to. Date someone who sleeps on your chest and leaves a little puddle of drool. Don’t date someone who makes you leave oceans of tears."
— At the end of the day it’s the little things. (via gretzky)
fun fact: if a persons body odor smells good to you that means they have an immune system basically opposite of yours! this happens so the chances of finding a mate with the opposite immune system is greater and the chances that any offspring you produce together will have a stronger immune system is greater.
this is fascinating
john-michael liles going in for/committing the head pat for hannah
They really need to make capri sun packs bigger. I’m not fucking 7 anymore. I am a grown man. All I’m saying is that sometimes 6.5 fl. oz. just doesn’t cut it.
OH MY LORD ITS CAPRI SUN FOR ADULTS
SPREAD THE WORD
god is real and hes here for us
i’m quitting this college shit to become a stand up comedian
and this is the thought that keeps me up at night
"tired" isn’t even a temporary state for me anymore it’s just an inherent part of my personality at this point
I’m sure he’d be flattered to hear that. I’l be sure to let him know.
But nope! No way. Sorry (not really), but he’s mine. I’m not letting him go for anyone, or anything.
one time i was walking across the courtyard and some kids were clustered around where the seagulls always are and then this kid fuckin GRABBED ONE OUT OF THE AIR and i was literally so fucking amazed but all his friends were like “tyrone put that shit down” and “again tyrone?? really??” which is even better because it means he was a habitual seagull catcher